


Stuck

by FairythePigeon (Me_aGlorifiedPigeon)



Series: The Fun in Dysfunctional - A Sanders Family Collection [5]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abuse of Authority, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Sweetheart, Brotherly Angst, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Everything is as vague as possible I think, I'm Sorry, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Let me know what to tag!!!!, M/M, Protective Older Brothers, Suicidal Thoughts, Underage Drug Use, suicide ideation, vague sexual content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:07:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23310601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Me_aGlorifiedPigeon/pseuds/FairythePigeon
Summary: Remus is stuck. He doesn't know where to go with his life. He's thinking maybe it's over. But he still has family to worry about, so he still has something he needs to do.WARNING: Mind the tags please!!!!
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Series: The Fun in Dysfunctional - A Sanders Family Collection [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1471418
Comments: 9
Kudos: 90





	Stuck

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: This fic is ALL KINDS OF BAD, please READ THE TAGS, I don't get explicit because NOPE, but this is an important part of Remus' life growing up and I thought I'd share where his mind was at the time. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED, THIS FIC IS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE even for me, as the writer.

"I'm not gonna just sit here and take this anymore. You aren't going to lay another _finger_ on me." Remus didn't know where this sudden burst of bravery came from. He'd never had the will to stand up to anyone, not Jake, not his friends, and definitely not Mr. Richard Haverhill.

The math teacher scoffed. "I have definitive evidence that you and your delinquent friends deal drugs on campus. I could have you expelled no problem."

"Do it then!" Remus snapped. "I'm not gonna suck your dick!"

Maybe the bravery came from the resolution that he would be taking his own life at the end of the day. He didn't want to keep living like this, weak and broken and shaking all the time. Even now he felt itchy all over, desperate for another dose. He just wanted it to stop.

Mr. Haverhill was a creep, and the way he smirked in that moment made Remus shudder. "You know, your brother does good work."

Remus froze. He had forgotten about Roman- his younger twin who had spent the past several school months studying math in the same classroom that Remus pictured in his nightmares.

"I have his test here. It should put his grade in the high A's," Mr. Haverhill mused, wandering over to his desk and pulling a packet off the top of a stack of papers. Remus' heart was thudding now. Mr. Haverhill's cold eyes met with his. "It'd be really unfortunate if I lost his test and had to grade him a zero. There aren't any retests, after all."

Remus would not burst into tears. He refused to be that weak. But Mr. Haverhill knew him too well. Remus would do anything -anything in the _world_ \- for his brother. He dropped to his knees beside the swivel chair, and let the teacher pry his mouth open with a filthy, creepy thumb.

And he sat there, willing himself not to cry, commanding himself not to show any sign of weakness. When it was over and the teacher shoved a box of tissues at him, Remus let only a few tears slip from his eyes, wiping them away along with the mess all over his face.

He spotted Mr. Haverhill slip something into the paper shredder and briefly his heart clenched as he wondered about that test. He didn't have time to wonder much before Mr. Haverhill yanked him into his lap by the belt loops in his jeans. He hand cupped Remus' crotch and the teen had to force himself to stay relaxed.

"See, a little obedience does you good, Mr. Sanders. I'm even repaying the favor, I don't have to do that you know," Mr. Haverhill stated. Remus felt sick to his stomach as his jeans began to feel too restrictive. "Well? What do you say when someone does you a favor, Remus?"

Remus bit his tongue and took a deep breath to calm down. "Thank you, sir."

He wanted to scream, he wanted to claw the man's eyes out, he wanted to tear his throat to shreds with his teeth- but Mr. Haverhill was a teacher, and he controlled whether or not Roman got good grades.

Remus stumbled away from the school after that, he was already late going home. He wanted nothing more than to die, to stop living this horrible life of his and move on, but...

But Roman would still be in the same room as that awful man.

Remembering was difficult. Remus couldn't really keep track of shit. Memory wasn't- wasn't tangible. It was some sort of ethereal curtain that got ripped away when Remus was with Jake. But at least Remus could remember Virgil when things got shitty.

Virgil, a person untainted. His little brother was nine and perfect. A fucking angel that painted his nails for him and made a goddamn heavenly black bean casserole.

And there he was, sitting on the porch stairs, waiting for Remus to make his way over. Virgil perked up and stood, smiling in that sweet, shy way of his. God, Remus loved his baby brother.

"Hey, Remus! Where were you?" Virgil asked.

"I was hanging out with some friends," Remus explained, tucking one hand in his back pocket. His skin itched with a million invisible bugs, and he felt absolutely filthy standing next to his little brother. He went to wrap an arm around Virgil's shoulders, then hesitated.

Virgil shone like a diamond, pure and clear and untarnished. Remus didn't want to soil it. Then again, Virgil took the choice out of his hands and hugged him around his middle. Remus laughed, dropping his hands onto Virgil's shoulders in a loose hug.

"I'm glad you're okay," Virgil murmured, and Remus' smile felt like ot was stretching over broken wires.

"Yeah, Vivi, I'm all good," Remus managed to say.

"Roman's at an audition," Virgil said. "Mom and Dad are at the flower shop. It's just you and me today."

Remus sighed in relief. "That's cool, short stop, you wanna do anything?"

"Not really," Virgil shrugged. "I just wanna hang out with you."

"Well, we're going to have the best time!" Remus promised. "First, I'm gonna take a shower, but I can take you to the park! We can scavenge in the woods."

Virgil's eyes lit up, and he nodded excitedly, rushing into the house to get ready to go. Remus chuckled and walked inside at a slower pace.

Remus took his time on the bathroom. He scrubbed at his skin until it felt raw, stood under the hot water and tried to burn away the sensation of touch, stared at the white tiles around him under the water began to turn cold. Then, when that didn't work he went to his room and reached under his bed.

One left. He'd need to talk to Jake about getting more. He'd probably have to put out for it. He wasn't sure if he still cared at this point.

Memory wasn't- wasn't reliable. Time didn't come in logical strings. The next thing Remus could really remember, he was lying in his bed and Virgil had come into his room. He grinned lazily at his brother.

"Ready to go to the park?" Remus asked.

Virgil studied him carefully, big brown doe eyes searching his face, then dropping to his arms, where his sleeves were rolled up over his elbows. Virgil shook his head. "I changed my mind."

Oh, that little liar. Virgil was decked out for the park, clearly ready to go and look for pretty bugs and rocks.

"Changed your mind? What do you mean?" Remus protested. "You love hanging out at the park."

"I love hanging out with _you_ ," Virgil corrected. "I wanna watch Dumbo instead."

Remus huffed. "Fine, but I'm only not gonna call you out for being a bad liar because I like Dumbo, okay?"

He sauntered out of his bedroom, only just barely hearing Virgil mutter, "I'm not the only one lying."

God, an absolute angel. Worrying about Remus and his good for nothing ass, all while Remus contemplates sending himself to hell where he belonged. Virgil didn't deserve this. Virgil didn't deserve to be stuck with a brother like Remus.

It didn't even occur to Remus that maybe he didn't deserve to be stuck either.

**Author's Note:**

> Virgil doesn't *know* what's going on, but he knows how Remus gets during times like these. He's too young and doesn't see enough of what's happening to really Get It, but he sees enough of Remus' behavior to know he's not up for the park right now.


End file.
